Chapter Eleven - Home Sweet Home

Megan sat in the back of Viggo's 4x4 and rubbed her temples furiously. After last night she felt so ashamed at what she had almost done.

'How could I have been so stupid?' she asked herself over and over again as she tried to ignore the nagging voice in her mind that told her that she had been taken over by her hormones and the closeness she had indulged in with Orli. Snorting which startled Orli and Viggo up front, she closed her eyes tiredly.

She was drifting off to sleep when she felt a soft brush against her cheek. Opening her eyes she saw Orli's face bending over her.

"Huh?" she made and saw Orli smiling at her sadly.

"We are at the airport, love," he said and grabbed the backpack beside her. Holding out his hand towards her she took it reluctantly then followed him towards the departure counter.

Silently they checked in her luggage then turned towards the rest of the friends that had accompanied them in various cars. Billy and Dominic hugged Megan, telling her they would phone, though Megan had an inkling that it was in vain. But she exchanged phone numbers with them anyway. Next came Lij who hugged her close.

"Hey, take care, Meggie," he said and his blue eyes were misty. "As soon as the shoot is over I'll visit you, okay?"

"Sure, Lij, I'd love that," Megan replied and almost gasped when Elijah took her into a tight bear hug again. Then followed Viggo who grinned and gave her an envelope with pictures he had taken. Then her uncle who hugged and kissed her and told her that she should go by Robbie once she was home.

Orlando stood a bit to the side, and when she came up to him, with her hand outstretched, he stepped closer and hugged her close.

"I already miss you, Megan, and I'm sorry, so sorry, for last night," he whispered and held her close.

"Me too," Megan managed to say and closed her eyes briefly when Orli bent down his head and kissed her softly on the mouth. It was an innocent kiss, a true good bye kiss and Megan took it as it was. Paradise - New Zealand - was over and both had to return to their respective worlds.

"Good bye, Orli," she whispered then turned to the others. With a last wave at them, Megan walked through the controls, then once through them, turned and didn't look back. 'Home, here I come.'

Another shoot that took more than 17 hours to accomplish and Orlando was tired to the bone. When they had come back from the airport, Peter Jackson had rounded them up and told them they needed to shoot additional scenes as some of the dailies had been destroyed due to a minor accident.

So the Hobbits, the Elf and the Man had gotten into character again and had shot almost the complete day. Orlando leant back into the chair he was sitting in and listened to Ken's tired rambling. For several minutes he was sure he made the right replies, snorting here, grunting there until his own thoughts took over, dissecting the night before.

'I really don't know what came over me ... I mean Megan and me we are mates. And then I had to go and kiss her. Sure, there is sexual tension between us, fuck, it had been since the first time we met. Kissing, necking and stuff has come natural as far as I am concerned but LORD, I really wanted her like I have never wanted a woman before. I almost even forgot my own golden rule. I guess I would have made love to her without protection if I hadn't sobered up. I need her ... it is frightening.

Talking about forbidden fruit or something. Because we are mates, she is off-limits, which probably just spurs me on. I need to get my head out of the clouds and try to focus on my work, but how can I do this if I just want to have Megan here? I mean she never really gave me an indication that she liked me more than a friend. Last night when she came out of the trailer I was expecting accusations or tears, but all she did was share a cigarette with me, as confused as I am.

She is unlike any woman I have ever met. Normally a girl gets bitchy, well Joanne was like that. If I had left Joanne the way I had left Meg ... oh-uh ... I would never hear the end of it. But not with Megan, never with her. She is almost like a mate ... she IS my mate.

Fuck, I really should get my feelings for her straightened out but I'm scared. What if she really only wants to be friends? Or what if she is more? Can I really get into another relationship? Does she want a relationship with me of all people?'

With a sigh Orli picked up his cell phone that was sitting on the table nearby and dialed Megan's number, he knew she wasn't back yet but somehow he wanted to welcome her back.

The dial tone ended and a beeping tone announced he had an answering machine on the other end.

"Hullo, I'm not at home, or just chose to ignore the phone so if you leave me your name and number I'll call you back. Thanks."

"Umm... hi Megan, Orli here," Orlando breathed and frowned when he didn't know how to continue. "Umm ... wanted to tell you welcome back ... and ... ummm ... We are missing you already ... I'll call tomorrow again, bye."

Exhaling softly, Orli replaced the receiver. 'Jesus, if I didn't sound like a stupid jerk I don't know what I sound like.'

Megan arrived home 24 hours later and after she had left her luggage in the hall way she just headed straight for the bathroom to take a long shower.

It feels good to be home again,' she thought as she massaged the abundant lather into her scalp. I didn't notice how much I missed it.

She started when the phone started ringing, and with a shrug she just rinsed her hair out and wrapped herself into a towel. Padding over into the living room, she heard her answering machine picking up the call.

"You better come home quick. I have this Glam magazine in front of me now and I want to know what the fuck is going on, Meggie-Girl."

Megan had to laugh and picked up the call.

"Hi Nancy, good to hear your voice again," Megan said and grimaced when she heard Nancy squealing on the other side of the line.

"Don't move, Meg, I'll be right over ... do you have food stuff? Oh no forgot you just came in ... I'll drop by the grocery store and bring some rolls and stuff ... see you in a bit," Nancy rambled on before she disconnected the call.

They had just settled to get into the scrumptious breakfast and Megan had been checking her messages, gracing Nancy with Orlando's message by doing so, when Megan's phone rang. Picking it up, she walked back to the table and plopped down opposite Nancy. Her answering phone picked up the call the second she pushed the connect button on her cordless.

"Ummm. Hi Meg, it's Orli ... ummm ... I thought you were home by now, but you are not ..."

"Hi, it's me ... sorry about the answering machine!" Meg bubbled out. "How are you?"

"Megan," Orli said on the other end. "So when did you get back?"

"About an hour or so ago, I'm having breakfast now," she replied and grinned when Orli made some strange noises on the other end which sounded like licking and munching. "Yuck, disgusting, Orli."

Nancy rolled her eyes as the answering phone was still recording and she could overhear the conversation.

"Hey, I haven't had anything to eat for the last 24 hours or so. Just wanted to check if you were safely home," Orli said and in the background she could hear Lij yelling for him to hurry up because food was ready. "Need to go now, and ... ummm lots of hugs from the gang."

"Sure, thanks, give them a hug from me too," she answered and laughed when she heard Orli's indignant snort.

"Me? Giving the hobbits a hug, never. I gotta go now, phone you tonight, okay?"

"Okay, but think about the time difference..." she reminded him and heard a distant "I will, good bye."

Nancy stared at her and then made a soundless 'Ohhhhhhhh', her lips forming a perfect circle. Megan watched her antics and shook her head with a sigh.

"What?" she asked when she felt Nancy's keen eyes on her.

"He phones twice in 24 hours?" she asked and whistled. "Boy, must be some sort of pal."

"We are only friends, Nancy," Megan stressed and moved to get more coffee. Nancy was shaking her head and snorted.

"I don't believe you, Schofield. Besides you haven't mentioned that he is an actor once so that means you don't care or you are over John or both ..."

Megan blushed and turned away quickly to pour water into the coffee machine, but her friend saw the blush and she rolled her eyes heavenward and clapped her hands together. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"What?" Megan asked irritated.

"Thank God, you have finally gotten over John. Took you long enough," Nancy said with an evil glint in her eyes. "So did you sleep with him? How was it?"

"Nancy!! ... it was okay," Meg pressed through gritted teeth and then grinned when she met Nancy's incredulous stare.

"Okay? Just okay?" Nancy asked. "I mean look at him!" she pointed to the magazine she had brought over with her. "Okay I give, he looks kind of silly with that Iroquois hair style but, please, he is hot!"

Megan switched on the coffee machine and took her seat at the table again. "Well, he is cute. But we are only friends."

Nancy looked at her as if she doubted her sanity. "Wait, let me get this straight, you kiss a guy like that and just be friends with him?" she pointed to the article she had kept for months now, having recognized Megan immediately.

"Of course not, but ..." Megan shrugged. "So all right, it was more than okay, but I didn't feel like continuing it."

"Megan, do I have to clobber you to get a straight answer?"

"Okay, okay," Megan held up her hands when Nancy had rolled up the magazine. "It was breath-taking ... I ... we... Oh Lord, he is a good kisser .. and ... Ummm... it was perfect..."

"But?" Nancy prodded her along when Megan fell silent.

"He muttered his girl-friend's name afterwards," Megan let out a sigh, for the first time telling anyone why she had been so mad at Orli in the first place.

"Ouch," Nancy said. "What a prick!"

"He was asleep," Megan retorted and when she noticed she was about to defend Orlando she shut her mouth with an audible click. Nancy chuckled at that and threw the magazine onto the table again.

"You know that I won't budge till I have gotten every sexy and dirty detail out of you, so come on spill the beans."

Over the next couple of weeks Orlando and Megan fell into a routine. He would call her at midnight New Zealand time waking her up in London and then they would doze off together again. Megan had found out that she really needed the sabbatical and she had new ideas for her classes as well as worked on some screenplays she wanted to adapt with her students in the next semester. She had even picked up her academic writing again and two of her essays were about to be published at university press and when she told Orlando one morning he whooped loudly over the phone.

"Now this is great," he exclaimed. "So I have to make a point in reading those two."

"Oh-uh, I don't know," Megan laughed and snuggled deeper into her pillow. "One is about the dialectics of Tolkien's languages.

"Peter is looking for someone who could write a behind the scenes account on Lord of the Rings, why not ask him?"

Megan laughed. "Sure and he will just pick up some academic geek to do just that. No, I could never write something to entertain."

"Just a thought," Orli yawned loudly, sending a muffled "Sorry," soon afterwards.

"You should go to sleep, Orli," Megan commented, checking her alarm clock. They had been talking for two hours now and she was familiar with his shooting schedule enough to know he had to get up at five again.

"I should, shouldn't I?" Orli asked and she could hear him muffling another yawn.

"Sleep tight, Orli."

"Oh before I forget, when we wrap this up I have to fly straight to LA. My agent told me I had to attend a junket or something."

"Hey, this is great, LA is one big exciting city," Meg commented.

"Yeah I'm thinking of moving there .. or better Fiona, my agent, thinks it is a good idea, closer to the productions and all that," Orli said sleepily

"Well she has a point there, but you only should move there if you really feel like it. Most of the time films aren't shot in LA anymore so you could stay in England and just fly in, but it would wreck havoc on your bank account."

"Yeah, I know, but I will cross that bridge when I get there. God, Megan I have never felt so tired in my whole life. I mean we all knew these 18 months will be tough but now it seems all days consist of 15 to 18 hours work days, Peter had us shooting even on the weekends."

"The pleasures of being an actor," Megan teased him and she heard him chuckle. "Go on, Orlando, go to sleep..."

"I will, love," He answered sleepily and exhaled softly. "Love you..."

"Love you too, Orlando, now sleep," Megan whispered softly with a laugh and listened to the click on the other end. With a grin she stood up and faced the day at 8 AM in the morning.

They both couldn't remember when they had started to sign off with a Love you but it seemed natural for them, after having spent so much time on the phone and Megan had to admit she loved him, like an annoying bigger brother that is.

Shaking her head she headed for the shower to face the new day.

Orli was still staring at the phone after he had replaced the receiver. When he had heard her voice, a warm feeling had washed over him. These were the highlights of his days, hearing her voice, listening to what she had been up to and all. In turn he always told her what he had done and it was good to just talk, listen and smoke.

'I have to get her something really nice when I return to the UK,' he reminded himself and settled down in his bed. Only two more weeks to go, then I'll be in LA and then in no time I'll see Meg again,' he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Days turned into weeks, and then weeks turned into months, their frequent phone calls had come down to a short phone call every once in a week. Megan had noticed he had been distracted ever since he was staying in LA but she had never mentioned anything. Though she suspected that the blonde woman who had been photographed with him on more than one occasion was the reason for the lack of conversation.

It seemed as if both were afraid to broach the subject, albeit for different reasons. Orli had been hatching about telling Megan about his new girl-friend because he didn't want to hurt her. He had met Jemma on a party his agent had dragged him to, and at first he had only be happy to meet a fellow country woman again. That they had come together was more of a chance meeting than by any deliberate attempt of his own. One minute he had been a single, the next he had a fiance, even though he had not popped the question yet.

Megan on the other hand didn't want to broach the subject because of Orlando's own secrecy. But then again she had a little secret or two of her own. Recently one of her colleagues had phoned her more frequently, and she had started to date him. Still all very friendly and all but it felt good to have long walks in the park and long, endless talks again.

When the first official photograph of Orlando and Jemma Kidd had been released, the subject line of the photo telling everyone that Miss Kidd was his fiance, Megan got a phone call from Elijah.

"Hi beautiful, how are you?"

"Well if this isn't the blue eyed ring bearer, hi Lij," Megan answered and grinned. "I'm fine ... how are you?"

"Peachy, I'm having a new project, all secret stuff you know," Lij replied. "If I tell you, I have to kill you afterwards."

"Is that stated in your contract?"

"Phew, but of course," Elijah retorted and laughed. She heard rustling paper in the background then Lij' voice as he pretended to read. "In case of disclosing any information concerning afore mentioned project, Mr E. Woods is urged to dispose of those he had disclosed to above mentioned information."

Megan laughed. "Sounds like you will be busy in the murder business then."

"Naw, I'm innocent remember?" Elijah shot back and laughed. There was an awkward silence afterwards and Megan could feel Lij was stalling.

"What is it, Lij?" Megan asked after a while.

"Umm ... have you seen the gossip columns lately?"

Megan swallowed, then nodded. "You mean Orlando and Jemma Kidd?"

"Yeah ... I'm sorry, Meg, I mean I know you two are only friends but secretly I thought you two would get your act together..."

"What? You have been secretly shipping for us?" Megan laughed. "Oh, Lij only you can come up with something like that. That is so sweet."

There was another silence, then Elijah asked, "How are you feeling about it anyway?"

"What do you think?" Meg shot back. "I'm thrilled for Orli. I'm glad he has found someone new after this thing with Joanna."

"And you?"

"What about me?"

"Oh come on Megan ..." Lij let out exasperated. "I talked to Robbie and Ian on the phone, they are in New York but said you were seeing someone too."

Megan sighed and shook her head. "Can't Orli and I just have some secrets left?"

"Well you keep them from each other. As far as I know Viggo knows about your boyfriend, your uncle, me, even Dom and Billy."

Meg closed her eyes for a moment, remembering Viggo's visit a month ago. They had passed two very nice days and she had introduced him to Peter, her colleague. Peter and Vig had hit it off quite well, both being introverted men and both with a deep love for poetry. She had been happy that Viggo had seemed to accept him though when he had said good bye to her, he had told her something that had bugged her ever since.

He is too quiet for you, Meg, you need a man who keeps you on your toes and brings excitement into your life.

"Megan?"

"Huh? Sorry, I was miles away for a moment. I don't know ... it hasn't come up yet. Besides Orli is so busy lately that all we do when we talk is to say hi and bye," Megan replied.

Lij snorted. "That's Jemma who keeps him busy, she drags him to every party imaginable. Megan talk to him, he looks tired and he will start shooting in Morrocco soon."

"I know he told me he is excited about doing the boot camp thing," Megan smiled.

"He won't make it if he keeps up his current lifestyle," Lij told her and after a moment of silence, Lij continued. "I really do fear for him, Megan. I mean he was always a heavy drinker but now with Jemma and her model posse I fear he gets into more stuff than is good for him."

"Elijah, Orlando is old enough to know what is good for him," Megan started but was cut off by Lij.

"I know ... I just ... care, you know."

"Me too, and he will come around. He will talk to you when he thinks the time is right," Megan replied. "Besides, if she is his fiance, perhaps the marriage will settle them down a bit. You know how it is ..."

"How should I know?" Lij laughed. "But I know what you mean."

They soon got off the phone, leaving Megan deeply disturbed.

It was dark in the bed room and Orlando lay on the bed, staring into the darkness. He and Jemma had returned from another tedious party with her model friends and she was now sleeping peacefully inebriated beside him, out cold to the world.

Looking at his girl-friend he wished he could just as easily faze out like her but lately, he had found it increasingly difficult to stay drunk. Most of the time, even if he drank the heavy stuff like vodka and tequila, he was still annoyingly sober and he feared he had developed an immunity to alcohol like it was said of heavy alcoholics.

With a sigh, Orli stood up and slipped into his favourite pair of jeans, taking comfort from the soft worn material. Padding over to the living room of his LA apartment, he grabbed his cordless phone and slumped onto the couch.

Holding his thumb poised over the button that would dial Megan's number automatically, he hesitated.

'I don't know why I'm doing this?' he thought, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt bad for not telling Megan about Jemma. But at first he had thought that it was nothing but a fling and then later he had found himself so heavily involved, he had not known how to tell her.

'But I need to tell her, she is my friend for crying out loud! I don't know what happened, one minute I wanted nothing more than returning to England and getting my feelings for Megan figured out and the next I'm hooked up with a different girl and have a life away from England.'

Inhaling softly, he pushed the button and waited for the connection to be established.

"Hullo?" a male voice answered and Orli frowned.

"Umm.. hello, I would like to speak to Megan please," Orli said, not sure what he was feeling right now. His first urge was to yell at the stranger and demanding what the fuck he was doing at Megan's but then remembering that Jemma was sleeping just beyond the door in his bed, in his bed room, being his fiance, he remained silent.

"Hold on a sec," the man on the other end said and Orlando could hear a muffled conversation in the background. "Megan, phone for you, but please do hurry up, the table at the restaurant won't be free for long."

"I'm hurrying, don't worry... Hello?"

Orlando held his breath when he heard Megan's laughter filled voice wavering through the line to him.

"Hello? Megan Schofield speaking..."

Orlando found the disconnect button and the line went dead. He slumped back and squeezed his eyes shut.

Why does it hurt so much?' he asked himself. 'Why didn't she tell me she has a boy-friend now?'

Orlando returned shortly to England to do a movie with André Schneider, some weird pseudo post Generation X drug abuse/prostitution movie. Orlando buried himself in this work, arriving at the set early and going back late to his old flat in the North of London.

He even made his peace with Atti, as Andre was called and they son became friends. At night, when he lay alone in bed he wondered what Megan was doing. He had phoned her twice since his return to England but both time he had only gotten her answering machine. He had talked to Viggo and Ian, both telling him she was busy. 'Yeah right, busy with making out with the new man in her life!'

When Dominic and Billy visited him, both telling him they had met Megan at Viggo's New York exhibition of his new photographs, he almost didn't listen. But when Billy told him that she and Peter (how he hated this name by now) had made a cute couple, he tried to be at least appearing to take an interest in her.

Later that night, Dominic had passed out on the couch while Billy and Orli were sitting on the floor, still drinking and getting comfortably more and more inebriated, Orlando told Billy exactly what he thought about Megan and her boy friend. It came spilling out of him, the hurt, the pain and also the sense of portrayal.

Billy silently listened and when he had ended the Scot shook his head.

"Yae, kno', Orli yae are a greet asshole. Meggie were right, when she did'a tell yae that yae are a double standard bastard. Hae do' yae kno' Meg knew about yae lil' engagement with Jemma? Through the papers. Not from yae, not from anyone of the Fellowship. She has moved on and now yae have to sleep in the bed yae made for yaeself."

Orlando stared at him and yet, he knew Billy was right. He could not have the cake and eat it. He had lost that chance way back in New Zealand.

He closed his eyes and tried to remember a time when his life had been less complicated and other than his time in New Zealand and the long hours where he and Megan had talked on the phone, nothing came up that were as happy as this.

'I'm such an asshole!' he told himself, disgustingly sober again. 'Why could I have been so blind?'